Dear Celebrities,
We do not care what you think.
Love,
America
It's true. Keep you opinions to yourself. And it isn't just because many of you are crazy liberals with whom I personally disagree. It's because your opinions are held by someone completely out-of-touch. You're pointing the finger at one guy, the guy who's obviously too rich to know me, the common person. But you're doing it while wearing an eight-carat diamond ring and with a $750 haircut.
So... No.
Please stop writing your op-eds. Please stop with your nonsense tweets that are inciting violence and hatred. Please stop your temper tantrums. You do not, and will not, make a difference. Your opinion is irrelevant. You think because someone has put a microphone in your face (or your personal assistant set up the much-followed Twitter account on your new $2,000 phone) that we care, but you're wrong.
Make your movies. Sing your songs. Take your pictures. Go on your late-night appearances. But do it quietly. By the simple fact that we know your name and have never met you, you are too famous to have a clue. You live in a bubble. You complain about paparazzi stalkers and someone hacking the sexy selfies you took when you were drunk on a Tuesday morning at the beach. These are not the problems of real people.
We don't care what you think. We have voices we want to hear, and they are each other's. I want to hear from my actual peers: any color, any race, any religion, but people living a real life. People like me don't drive a brand new Mercedes. People like me don't get asked for their autograph at Starbucks. People like me don't pose for magazine covers.
The people around each of us are the people whose opinions matter. The election was determined by those of us who are tired of you and your manipulative death-grip on our society.
Ironically, I did include a super-hysterical Piers Morgan thought above, because this is all we need from you: humor.
Dear Celebrities,
You are here to entertain us and that is all.
Love,
Me
