A friend got a call today that she’s getting her first placement as a foster parent: a newborn baby boy. Her questions made me want to put together a list of suggestions to ask if you’re picking up a newborn. These are different than the questions you might ask for the placement of an older child.
How much does baby weigh?
You might think this question matters to help you pick up the right diapers (and it does), or to know what size clothes to get (also key). But the reason this is specifically relevant to newborns is the car seat. Both hospitals we’ve picked up babies from have a social services staffer who checks the car seat against the child’s weight. For example, if the baby is 4 lb 8 oz and your “newborn” car seat is labelled for 6-30 pounds—they won’t let you leave. Our favorite infant car seat is the Chicco Keyfit which is labelled for infants down to 4 pounds (which we’ve had several times). Find out the current weight (not the birthweight since babies almost always lose weight for the first day or two after birth) particularly if the baby is a preemie or IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) due poor material nutrition.
What is baby eating?
If baby is eating breastmilk from birthmother or from a donor, ask the hospital how much they will send you home with. Then (following their instructions), try to mix it with formula to make the transition easy. If baby is already on formula, ask what brand and which selection so you can get the same and transition slowly to whatever brand you prefer. Better to avoid discovering on your first night that the orange brand gives the poor baby gas!
Is baby using a pacifier?
Sometimes newborns aren’t attached to a pacifier yet, but if yours is, better to ask than be helpless. Find out exactly what brand and size the hospital is using so you can get a few.
When will baby be discharged?
You might get a call on Monday morning, but depending on when baby was born and depending on his/her circumstances, baby might not be ready to come home for 24-48 hours. Ask if they have an estimate on when the hospital typically discharges babies so you know what to expect, then be flexible. Better to ask so you aren’t surprised by either rushing or waiting.
Has baby boy been circumcised?
The reason I tell you to ask this is that you may not change the diaper during hospital pick up, and the process for diapering a boy who’s had this procedure is a little different (Vaseline and sterile pads, angled right or you just get a flood out and over the diaper!). One of the little guys we had experienced some complications during the surgery, and I’m glad that we had already talked to the doctor about what went wrong during the procedure (or I might have had a heart attack).
Just like you would with all foster care placements, I’d also ask about family medical history so you can prepare, about visitation expectations (state date, frequency, length), and about what kinship options are being explored.
Happy parenting!
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