language immersion: give folder to parins

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My son has just begun his third year of a Spanish language immersion program. We are hugely blessed that the public school district in which we reside offers this and that he was selected (literally, his name pulled out of a brown paper bag) to be one of the students who attends. 

The worst part of this program is his spelling. He used to be ahead of grade-level with spelling, and now... disaster. Spellings in English make no sense, while almost everything in Spanish is spelled phonetically.  My favorite quote on the matter:

English lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages, and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary.

A friend of mine teaches at a local college and asked for our thoughts on the pro's and con's of the program.

Here are our (unedited) responses.

From my son:

Because you can learn another language and speak with people that speak a different language. It’s fun. You can make new friends that speak Spanish because you can talk with them. It helps you think. It’s cool to learn another language. If you get teased for knowing another language, it isn’t that you’re weird. You can tell the other person they are wrong.

Learn from a teacher who is really good at speaking Spanish and a teacher that was born learning Spanish. You have to listen very, very carefully and study a lot. Speak the language you are learning a lot. You can make poems or songs to have a fun way to memorize your words. During the summer, you should read a lot of Spanish books so you can practice for the harder grade that’s ahead of you.

From me:

My son’s participation in Spanish Immersion has made him more aware of the possibility that he might be able to understand things. Receptive language skills in Spanish, for example, caused him to ask me to pause the radio on scan on a Spanish station and make several attempts to tell the rest of us what they were saying. I think he’s less likely to immediately tune something out without first making at least an attempt to listen closely.

Expressively, he speaks Spanish comfortably to his level in the classroom but only makes attempts to speak Spanish in the community when prompted. For example, if his bi-lingual teachers at the YMCA speak to him in Spanish, he pauses and responds in Spanish, but when he first enters, he continues speaking English as he was with me. He has a very good ear for pronunciation, speaking with very little American accent, so it’s been interesting to me to hear him transition from English to Spanish. In the very early weeks of his first year, I was testing him on color vocab red (rojo), green (verde), and then I switched and said azul and he responded blue, but pronounced it with a "Spanish intonation" and not his normal English-speaking voice. He thought it was hilarious, and I really enjoyed seeing this tangible example of how his brain was learning to transition between the two languages.

Oral reading has always been a great strength of his, but I do think that being forced to read words he doesn’t and wouldn’t understand at all in Spanish has made him more willing to ‘gloss over’ words in English rather than make an attempt to sound them out and understand them. For example, if he sees ‘creatividad’, he might read it too quickly and miss a syllable—something like ‘creatvidad’—but maybe that doesn’t matter because he didn’t know what ‘creatividad’ meant anyway. However, I think he’s unfortunately more likely to do this in English. Instead of pausing to see if it’s a word he knows or can decode (like turning ‘peculiar’—a word he would know—into a made-up like ‘pec-lee-er’), he is more likely to just say nonsense and finish the sentence without understanding the new word.

If I had a "biggest complaint" (which I don't because we were very specifically warned about this before joining the program), written expression is definitely the biggest area of regression I’ve seen. His spelling and phonics in English were well ahead of his age level and now everything is spelled like a complete disaster. (Or... truth be told, English spelling is the disaster and his spelling make phonetic sense!)


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"boy, you have your hands full"

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A lady at the grocery store must have felt my two boys were being too loud today because she gave me 'the eyeball' and said, "Boy, you have your hands full. I hope they still nap."

Hmm.

What 8-year-old naps, lady? And, also, mind your business.

I do not have my hands full. This is, in fact, the lightest my hands have been since I became a mother 8 years ago. I had just the one newborn, then, and I may have thought my hands were full, but they were not. Because shortly thereafter, I was pregnant and had a toddler. But still, my hands were not full.

Two years later, we were a foster family and I was parenting four-under-four. Yes, I had a 3-year-old, an 11-month-old, a 4-month-old, and a newborn. Ok, that was PRETTY close to full, I'll admit... The issue there was that I hadn't thought through what three non-walkers meant. I'll tell you what it meant: it meant wearing one baby while pushing a double stroller LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.

More recently, for three and a half years, I had three boys. Loud, boisterous, energetic, silly, prone-to-running-and-swordfighting BOYS. They started out as a 5-month-old, a two-year-old, and a five-year-old. But, as children are known to do, they grew up. They were 3, 5, and 8 years old when that stage of our lives ended this summer. 

So, lady with the judgmental eyes, I do not have my hands full. I would venture to say that none of us do. None of us are doing enough. Few of us are really giving all we can to help others.

Someday soon, my hands will open wide again and more children will be in my family. Today is not that day for us, as today we are healing. But trust me, that day will come. 

Some stranger will see me pushing a double stroller, or holding a baby with one hand while I scold a toddler, or corralling a bunch of preschoolers. And the stranger may think (perhaps keeping their thoughts to themselves), "her hands are full."

But my hands will not be full. Because there is always room for us to do more.


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What happens in a Foster Care Home Evaluation?

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In addition to all your background checks and a family study, a foster care caseworker will come to your home for a Home Evaluation. While this probably varies greatly from state to state and even agency to agency, here’s a good idea of some things to expect. Some of them are obvious, but some of them really surprised me the first time!

  1. They will flush your toilet. Not kidding. They watched the water go down and come back up in our potty! (They have to make sure the plumbing works.)

  2. They will run your sink to make sure the water gets hot. Have any handy conversation starters for when you’re in the bathroom while a stranger holds her hand under your running sink? I didn’t.

  3. Read carefully about your state and county’s firearms/weapons policies (and their storage if applicable). For us, a firearm and ammunition must be stored separately and locked separately.

  4. They will look at your cleaning products and medicine storage. Make sure everything is up high where little hands can’t reach, that all containers are clearly labeled, and that all potentially dangerous substances are locked up.

  5. You will need a date-stamped fire extinguisher accessible near every source of fire or flame. (We are required to show separate ones for our fireplace and gas stove even though they are nearby.)

  6. They will test all the smoke detectors… as in press the button down on every one to make them scream. Lesson learned: don’t schedule a home evaluation when you have a little one sleeping! You need one on each floor of your home, including the attic and/or basement.

  7. Our agency requires two posted (and visible) “no smoking” signs on the main living floor of our home. I got pretty ones so they blended a little better with the décor and my living room didn’t suddenly feel like a Pub.

  8. Our agency requires a posted fire escape plan on the main floor. Keep in mind, my house is small enough that there isn’t an angle I found from which I couldn’t see either the front or back door. Still, I had to get out my crayons and graph paper to outline my house to draw colorful arrows that pointed to the exits. Safety first.

  9. Emergency phone numbers have to be posted, visibly. (We have the side of our fridge reserved for foster-care-related signage, because it adds up!) We have to showcase 911, poison control, police/fire, and gas emergency. My mom is also on that paper because Grandma is always the #1 contact for our everyday “emergencies”!

  10. They will check your bedrooms. All of them. (There’s no where to hide the wash you didn’t finish; just embrace it.) Each child needs a bed, so they have to visibly count.

  11. If you’re looking to host young children, they will check for outlet safety and make sure your extension cords or long lamp cords are stored securely. (In our case, we changed all our outlets to child safety outlets were acceptable rather than messing with the push-in plastic pieces.)

  12. They asked questions about our pets, our neighbors, and our stairs. They also checked the backyard for basic hazards (like holes and ungated swimming pools, not like uneven pavers).

While the Home Evaluation seems like a simple “check” on the long list of items toward becoming an approved family, I was in for some definite surprises. I hope this helps as you prepare and consider this great calling!


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table for 4

With great hope that God’s loving plan for our son's life is unfolding exactly as He’d always been planning, we share with you that our family of 5 will return to being a family of 4 one week from today. Foster parenting is a unique journey, and ours has been remarkable. We have loved and parented Lil Man for 1,206 days. 3 years, 3 months, and 18 days. What a blessing he has been!

To address quickly three questions that many have asked us.

  1. It would be atypical for us to have future contact with him, but we would love that if it is offered.

  2. Yes, if he would come back into care, we would be called. But my friends, please, oh please, do not hope for this. Please do not hope for our son’s family to fail.

  3. Yes, we still feel God’s call to be foster parents in the future, but we do not know what that will look like.

Our requests:

  • Please pray for all three of our beloved boys to be resilient. Our hearts are absolutely breaking for our older two sons.

  • Please pray for Lil Man and his family. This will be a difficult transition for everyone. Pray for his safety and emotional adjustment.

  • Above all, please pray for Lil Man's eternal future. Reminder: Lil Man does not need the Waller family to “save” him. Like all of us, all he will ever need is Jesus.

Finally, we want to remind you that the four of us are at the center of this circle. We promise anything you feel and want to “vent” about – we feel MORE intensely.  Instead of making us grimace through your expressions of frustration, please join WITH us in rejoicing in God’s plan. 

We are so honored that you have chosen to be active foster grandparents, foster aunts and uncles, foster cousins, and FRIENDS for this precious boy. We will never be able to thank you enough for your prayers, babysitting, random acts of kindness, and sacrificial acceptance of this calling. We have no doubt of our Father’s merciful plan for Lil Man.

Great is His faithfulness.

With love and anticipation for the future,

Matt and Kelley

P.S. If you wish to write him a letter or send a picture, feel free (some of you did this last May) – we will put it into his Life Book.


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